Hello dear one,
No one goes into a divorce or breakup thinking that it won’t hurt, even when you’re the one initiating it. What often does come as a surprise, however, is the intensity or flavor of the emotional challenges you might face, particularly grief.
As a divorce coach (and a human like yourself who has seen many friends and loved ones go through this portal), some thing I commonly hear are:
“I didn’t expect it to be like this,”
“If this is truly the best decision, wouldn’t I feel more solid?”
“I know that this is the best decision, so why does feel so painful?”
or sometimes later on in the process, “Why aren’t I over him?” or “Why am I STILL grieving this person I’m so glad I’m no longer with?”
I want you to know that the emotions you’re experiencing during this time, while they might feel surprising, confusing, or even irrational, are a very natural part of this process.
Your pain, grief, and discomfort may indicate that there are deeper questions to answer or things to be considered/reconsidered.
However, your feelings may also be there simply because they need to be felt so that you can heal and move on.
If you’re in a time of questioning the whole process, your decisions, how to get through this, or simply “how much longer is it going to feel like this,” than this episode is for you.
I can’t see your future and what it will hold for you, but I can share a little of what you might expect during this time (hint: there might be a lot of changes), some perspectives to help understand it, and some tips to navigate the feels while staying connected to what’s true—-especially if figuring out what’s true is part of the process.
When you’re finding the pain of your “wisest and best” decision surprising, confusing, or hard to bear, tune in for:
What I call the “pressure release” reaction & different ways it might look in your relationship
5 insights to shed light on the inner & outer dynamics of the deeper emotional processes (and bring some hope if you’re in deep waters) including what is often most surprising to those in these portals
How kind, loving, and amicable behavior from your partner can sometimes bring even more confusion
How to cope when your grief feels wasted or unwarranted i.e. you’re “tired of crying tears over this <bleep>!”
A navigation tip if you find yourself questioning whether the divorce or breakup is actually the best step forward
For real life examples and guided practices to support your journey through the portals of divorce or breakup, keep your eyes on your inbox for information and registration links for each month’s Phoenix Session. These are complimentary live trainings on the topics and questions that will help you turn this challenging transition into your personal Phoenix Transformation!
Warmly,
Kimberly
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