Hello dear one.
There’s a question that crosses the minds of pretty much everyone who’s been through a divorce or breakup…
Will I ever be ready to try again?
Then more questions come:
How will I know I’m ready for a new relationship?
What the heck will dating look like?
How will I ensure things are different moving forward?
I don’t know about you, but ten years ago when I entered the dating field after a decade of marriage, I was excited but intimidated.
I was a different person with a different perspective, with more experienced and informed desires for what I wanted in my partners and in relationships.
It was a LOT to navigate.
Truth be told, I navigated it pretty disastrously for waaaaay too long, and that’s a big reason why I’m here today.
Thankfully, I made it through and I’m now well aware of why I had such a challenging time discerning the partners and ways of relating that truly matched my needs.
My biggest challenges weren’t about the apps, the “rules,” or the trials and tribulations of dating in a world where everything is at our fingertips.
Ninety-nine percent of my post-divorce dating blooper reels—a light way of describing chronic stress, years of hurt and disappointment, & a high-conflict relationship—stemmed from the residue of past trauma that was driving my decision-making.
The truth is that our past experience can craftily creep in to our present in ways that are subconscious and subtle, but extremely impactful.
Like a streaky mirror or a clogged drain, trauma (the left-over internal charge or residue from your past) can cloud your perception, clog your progress towards what you want, and make it difficult to drain away the beliefs, decisions, people, and situations who lead to the kinds of relationships you don’t want in order to make space for the ones you do.
When you’re navigating the newness of singledom, mingledom, or full-on relationships, it’s a game changer to have both signposts and strategies to ensure that your past pain isn’t what should be your present playground.
Whether you’re in a new relationship, out there looking for one, or considering it in the near OR far future, you do NOT want to miss this episode.
“3 signs Past Trauma is Trying to Run Your Post-Divorce Dating Life & 3 Ways You Can Take Back the Reins.”
Listen in so that you can navigate reentry into relationships post-divorce or breakup with more agency, wisdom, and discernment (and the confidence and excitement that comes with it).
Listen in to this Phoenix Speaks episode where you’ll hear:
· A critical tool to gauge the right time for your re-entry to dating after divorce or breakup (or the need to pause if you’re already dating).
· How unresolved trauma can make “too soon” feel like “just right,” and what to do if you realize this is happening.
· The difference between a wise and healthy “not yet” and a “no way” that’s actually trauma speaking.
· Why you might feel compelled to stay in relationships that check a bare minimum of your boxes.
· Why trauma tells us that dangerous or unfulfilling relationships are good enough, and how to break the spell of “this is fine.”
· What “role-playing” in relationships means in the realm of trauma (it’s neither fun nor sexy) and how to spot if it’s happening before you even start dating.
· Why noticing any or all of these signs in your life might actually be a good thing!
· 3 important steps to take back control and step into your wisest, most confident, authentic self, no matter where you’re at in the realm of dating after divorce or breakup.
Whether dating is way off your radar or your current top priority, this episode is packed full of insight that will help you connect even more deeply to your highest, healthiest inner compass, so listen in and avoid at least a few blooper reels of your own.
For more about the inner awareness and work that will support your re-entry into relationships after divorce and breakup, keep your eyes peeled for more from me. I’ll be giving a free workshop later this month and the details are coming your way next week!
Warmly,
Kimberly
Share this post